Him: Ello miss. I am hurtling your way on the 12.30 service, due in at 2.16. However, rather romantically I need to go to the doctor’s but can’t ring for an appointment until 1pm, so will get in touch with you to make plans as soon as. Cool? Xxx
Her: I kept my afternoon free because I thought that’s when we were going to do something, but it sounds like you mean this evening?
Him: You’re right, I did mean this arvo, but the doc thing only cropped up this morning! Can’t get an appointment until 3.40pm, so could meet you 4pm-ish round your way? Sorry I’ve wasted half your afternoon but I do need to get this taken care of – it ain’t life threatening but it’s a bit embarrassing and more annoying than Alan Carr. Let me know what you think x
Him: If going to the doc’s means not seeing you though, screw it. Then I could meet you 3.15pm-ish round your way or 2.30pm-ish around the station. Could treat you to a Ponti’s…
Him: Hellooooo? Could really do with knowing what you’re thinking dude – train gets in in ten minutes. Think I’m definitely gonna have to go to the doc’s – kinda in pain now! Sorry x
Her: Go to the doctor’s dude. Hope you’re OK x
Her: Today doesn’t seem to be working out. I’m going to go out tonight. Let’s meet tomorrow instead.
Him: Now on the bus to the doc’s. Sorry for this mess dude, really didn’t want today to be like this. Would you still like to meet when I’m done here, maybe at the pub or Cafe Rouge?
Him: Fuckbags, just got your text. I’m out of the doctor’s now dude. You definitely not want to meet? I’m just waiting for the bus back your way?
Her: I think we should just make a clean start of it tomorrow baby.
Him: I hate doing this by text, but was I never going to see you today? I could only have met you 20 minutes earlier if I hadn’t gone to the doctor’s because my train was delayed by 20 minutes. I only came back today to see you. Now I feel like a mug. Sorry, but I have to say this or the last month will have been for nothing.
Her: Look dude, you’ve made today beyond complicated. I have to sit around while you sort your life out – you could have got an earlier train, you could have told me yesterday that you had shit to do, and, failing that, you could have just given me a concrete time that you would be free. I have had 5,000 messages which contradict each other. I really wanted to see you today and I end up being pissed off before we even meet up. How do you think that makes me feel?
Him: GARGH. What a fucking mess. Look, I really don’t want to fight about this by text anymore. Could I please see you tomorrow if you are free? I’m about all day – when is good for you. I’m gutted today has gone tits up. Have a good night out x
Her: I’m upset too dude. I’m about all day too. Tell me what you want to do.
Him: How would you feel about a walk on the heath if the weather doesn’t suck and stopping off for a drink or something to eat en route? Could stop by your gaff at, say, midday?
Her: OK, cool. That sounds like a plan. See you tomorrow x
